Bards, Beers and Longbeards...

Last night, I happened to stop by Bree Town for a quick pint at the Pony. My original intention was to depart at dusk, and head east; I had hoped to reach Ost Guruth by midnight.

So you can imagine my surprise when I woke up next morning, with a throbbing headache, soaked to the bone in the Boar Fountain in Bree! On the other side of the fountain, an ugly, bearded man in a white robe was snoring peacefully, while some crows pecked at the moth-eaten bagpipes on his belly.

Soon after knocking my head back into shape with some breakfast at the Dancing Goat -- another excellent inn in Bree-town -- I began to have vivid memories of the previous night. I had met this same ugly, bearded man, who was accompanied by an equally ugly bald-headed man -- honestly, the beard and the baldness were their most outstanding characteristics! -- and they had invited me to perform in their band: Bards, Beers and Longbeards.

The concert, as far as I can remember, was like none I had ever experienced before; insults and beer flowed freely alongside phenomenal music. There was one other woman in the band, and three hobbits... though Beard and Baldy referred to them as "bobbits", for some reason I can't fathom. Apparently they were bought at a very disreputable yard-sale, for a deal. What an idea!

Things were going well, and the concert ended... and then Beard offered me some beer. The bottle had a strange insignia on it, with the words "Beorlich's Best Troll Stout" underneath. Things went downhill from there. All I can remember afterwards is a blur of colors, among which a most hideous shade of pink figured predominantly. Thankfully, it was soon replaced with a somewhat more acceptable black. I also remember white... and blue... and some green...

And you know what happened next. I am never accepting drinks from bearded people. Ever again.