Tuesday, November 22, 2011

On trifling and unfounded fears; with additional thoughts on Mirkwood

My Mentor is worried that he may have done something arrogant and stupid. He is, in fact, worried that Beorbrand may fire me from the BBB because of what he did. But when I asked him to stop pulling the hairs from his head and tell me what the matter was, I discovered that, far from being arrogant and stupid, my Mentor had just made yet another brilliant display of his unparalleled genius. I tried to convince him to publish his work, so the world could praise him for his sheer musical ability; but he was so frightened of what Beorbrand might do to me (how nice of him!) that he made me promise not to talk about it anywhere except in my personal memoirs.

So here goes. Get ready to be amazed.
.ABC file
.WAV file (audio)

You may remember this as the song which Beorbrand recently stabbed to death, in his arrangement which involved two (or was it five?) howling bagpipes. Well, in attempting to override this unfortunate mistake, my Mentor included one bagpipe in this arrangement, just to please the Beard and prevent him from stabbing me to death after firing me from BBB. Of course, these fears are purely a product of the imagination -- of course I wouldn't be fired. For one thing, Beor never includes a song on the playlist that has anything less than three bagpipes in it. So this song will never get played, anyway. And besides, I'm just too good a drummer for them to even think of disposing of me.

While these matters musical were getting dealt with, I crossed the river Anduin in a little boat, and took my first steps into Mirkwood. I think I took exactly 10 steps in, to be precise. Then I had to turn back. The whole place reeked of orc droppings. No wonder Aegthil is having such a blast here, I thought -- the stench must have effectively covered up his own smell of Orc Filth. I tried crossing the river again, only to be ordered back into Mirkwood -- by none other than the Lady Galadriel herself! So with a deep obeisance to her august majesty, I ventured back into the Mirk-Eaves. Besides the unbearable smell, the woods turned out to be home ground for an experienced hunter such as myself. But there are many, many orcs to kill... and the mayhem of fighting that's currently going on doesn't seem to put a dent in their numbers.

Well, let's go and see what else these elves want me to do here...
Farewell and safe travels!

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